Law passed, things expected to stay pretty much the same

After months of rumblings and tremors, the imminent oil exploration and the Falklands were last week cast onto the media spotlight amid a newsprint ejaculation of scaremongering, exaggeration and conjecture that couldn't have been more sensationalistic if it had included Dad's Army's Private Frazer exclaiming "We're doomed!" after every article.

All it took was a new Argentine law that requires ships that sail via here from or to Argentina to obtain a licence. Irritating, perhaps, but hardly the harbinger of an apocalypse that newspapers would have us believe. Dare I use an example applicable to today's youth and suggest that if all this was going on on Facebook, the law would be little more than a snide Argentine comment under the Falklands' status.

Sadly, this is not the way it has been portrayed in the British press. The Daily Mail, being the bastion of balanced and restrained reportage that it is, was unsurprisingly irate at the decision and pointed out that "The announcement means Argentina will be able to control all traffic from South America towards the islands". An insightful point and one that gives plenty cause for concern. Not concern for the impact that this will have on the Islands, mind, but concern for the fact that a mainstream newspaper is struggling to get to grips with the concept of countries, continents and the general geography of South America.

The Sun, evidently harking back to the days of the Belgrano, remained true to type and barely stopped short of declaring all-out war. "Falklands Oil Argy-Bargy Sparks 1982 re-run" ran the headline, with news of a destroyer steaming for the Falklands. "The Naval mission will evoke memories of Rod Stewart's song Sailing, which became associated with the Falklands War after being used as the theme tune to a BBC documentary about the aircraft carrier HMS Ark Royal.", it went on to add. The tragedies of war are many, some tangible others not so, but none could surpass the downright abomination of Rod Stewart getting more airplay.

"Plea for Navy to break Argentine Falklands 'siege'" blazed The Express, without, amazingly, connecting it to Diana's "accidental" death. "Cheryl Cole quits UK" screamed the Star, which doesn't have anything to do with the Falklands, admittedly, but it makes for more interesting reading and I suspect, is higher up on the list of things to care about for most people in the Falklands. After all, is the latest Argentine move really that unexpected?

Picking on papers for being ignorant and sensationalistic is like shooting fish in a barrel though; newspapers are a business after all and tabloid editors didn't get to where they are by running headlines along the lines of: "Law passed, things expected to stay pretty much the same".

The problem is, however, that much like during the 25th anniversary celebrations, a media backlash always follows, and it wasn't long before pieces that weren't so sympathetic to the Islands' cause began to appear in the papers. It is of no surprise that many (if not most) people in UK are at best indifferent towards the Islands, and at worst see it as a piece of an anachronistic empire or, even worse, Maggie's greatest hour. Few understand the self-determination argument, or the fact that we are everything but a retrogade colony; Viceroy-esque garden parties at Government House notwithstanding. Yes, I know it was for charity and simply down to unfortunate timing, but did the camera crews have to be invited? It couldn't have looked more colonial if they had been playing croquet. Oh, wait, they were.

Similarly, the proliferation of Facebook groups such as "Argentina: just FUCK OFF and leave the Falklands in peace" is unlikely to further our cause but could do much to damage it. We have to learn to respond to Argentine taunting with either an aloof silence or a succinct presentation of the facts. The Chinese water torture method seems the most effective; childish stamping of feet or flicking of fingers achieves nothing.

Either way, it seems that we are very much losing the PR battle; the recent Rio summit being a case in point. An accidental re-reading of part of The Last of the Pink Bits, British journalist Harry Richie's account of his travels round the remnants of the British Empire in the eighties, produced this passage, which, while about Gibraltar seems to The Beak to sum up the nub of the problem that the Falklands has in respect of both the British press and, more generally, world opinion:

"...he (the editor of a Gibraltarian newspaper) was far less confident that people back in Britian really understood the contemporary politics of colonialism, especially the desire of the colonised to remain colonised. Fair point, but one that conveniently avoided the fact that few people in Gibraltar seemed able to specify what colonial or post colonial future they wanted, beyond mentioning the attractive and attractively vague catchword, 'self-determination.' "

When are we going to be able express a clear idea of our future hopes in language that The Sun and the rest of the world can understand?

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